Are Your Quiet Rockstars Feeling Invisible?

TLDR; When team members feel forced to "toot their own horn" just to be noticed, psychological safety plummets and corporate theater takes over. If you are noticing an epidemic of "CC everyone," public channel performances, or people fighting over high-profile projects, the environment is accidentally incentivizing unhealthy self-promotion.

As leaders and managers, it is our job to change the environment so great work is caught, not pitched.

I heard someone say it the other day...

I was having a casual conversation and she made a comment that made me feel really sad.

"I'm not very good at self-promotion. I probably need to get better."

My first instinct was to say.... "You don't need to self-promote for people to notice your great work," because that's what I want to believe. I want to believe that we work at a place where doing great work, helping your team achieve their shared outcomes, contributing creative solutions to problems, showing up and being a really solid team member is enough to get you noticed and appreciated and rewarded.

And I truly believe we can be that kind of workplace. One where our collective focus is on lifting each other up so no one ever feels the pressure to shout their own praises. It got me to thinking...

What Keeps Us From Noticing Great Performers?

As leaders, managers, chapter leads, product owners... we're busy. The calendar is jam packed with meetings. Reports are due. The boss wants an update on that thing. We are just really, really busy.

But are we so busy that we are making those people around us feel like they need to "toot their

own horn" in order to get noticed? To get a good performance evaluation? To get promoted? To get that new opportunity?

As managers we have to strike a balance between delivering results, creating a psychologically safe environment where people can experiment and innovate, and growing people to be more capable, competent and effective.

Striking that balance is hard. And it can be hard to recognize when we're maintaining that balance, or when we're creating an environment where people feel like self-promotion is a critical survival skill.

Don't get me wrong, there is certainly value in reflecting on the things that we, as members of a team, create and contribute to the team's success. It can be helpful in identifying where we may have room to grow. It can help us understand where we may have opportunities to do more (or less) of something. It can help us feel more connected to the results we produce in service of our users and customers.

But when we work in an environment where we feel like we have to promote ourselves in order to advance, or worse - to justify our continued employment... that creates a mindset that can erode psychological safety, and be flat out destructive to a team's performance.

Tell-Tale Signs That You Are Incentivizing Unhealthy Self-Promotion

There are some clues that can give you an indication that you're creating an environment where your team feels like they need to say "Look at me!" Be on the lookout for some of these behaviors... and remember... these behaviors are being incentivized by someone (and this is where we look in the mirror!)

Communication goes beyond gaining alignment

• An Epidemic of "CC Everyone": You notice an influx of emails or group messages where unnecessary managers, peers, and executives are copied on minor updates just to ensure "visibility."
• Status Update Theater: Weekly stand-ups or status reports stop being about alignment and start sounding like an awards acceptance speech. Team members over-inflate minor tasks or use heavy corporate jargon to make standard duties sound monumental.
• Public Channel Performances: Instead of sending a direct message to a stakeholder or manager, they post regular updates in public channels so the whole department can see they are "getting things done."

Shifts in collaboration and dynamics

• Laying Claim: In meetings, you’ll hear a lot of "As I mentioned last week..." or "Building on the framework I created..." There is a hyper-vigilance about making sure their name stays attached to ideas.
• Spotlight Hogging: Team members might become reluctant to mentor juniors or collaborate deeply because they fear their contribution will be diluted or stolen.
• Chasing the "Glamour Work": People aggressively vie for high-profile projects that have executive eyes on them, while vital, behind-the-scenes operational work is left ignored or treated like a punishment.

The vibe is just off

• The "Loudest Voice" Wins: Introverted or quieter team members start shutting down or looking disengaged, realizing they can’t (or don't want to) compete with the louder self-promoters.
• Amped Up Vanity Metrics: An obsession with quantifiable, easily digestible metrics—even if they don't tell the whole story of the project's success—because numbers are easier to pitch in a promotion cycle.

None of these individual things, observed in a single person is a sign for worry (some people learn lessons from other managers and bring it with them). Room for coaching? For sure! But... if you're seeing it over and over across your team... Well... where was that mirror again?

And What To Do About It...

To minimize the need for self-promotion, you (yes, you leaders and managers!) have to change

the environment so that great work is caught, not just pitched.

When your team realizes that you see their contributions clearly without them having to shout about it, the exhausting "broadcasting" behavior will start to fade away.

Change How You Gather Information

If you only know what's happening because someone told you, you're accidentally incentivizing self-promotion.

• Normalize Peer Input: Ask the team during 1-on-1s: "Who on the team helped you cross the finish line this week?" This surfaces the "invisible" contributors.
• Surface Partnership Publicly: Make space in all-team meetings to encourage people to "promote each other." Make it worth while to lift each other up!
• Drive By More: Drop into project working meetings, daily stand-ups, planning sessions, and other "run-of-the-mill" working sessions. Pay attention to those who are picking up the "less sexy" work, (or at least not fussing when it's being assigned.) Get a better feel for the value everyone is making.

Redefine "Visibility"

Curate the conversation in public forums so individuals don't feel the need to fight for the spotlight.

• Make the Un-glamorous work "Glamorous": Explicitly praise the unglamorous but vital tasks (i.e., documentation, bug fixes, onboarding a peer, or organizing files.) When the team sees that this gets rewarded as well, it will stop feeling unimportant.
• Pass the Mic to Introverts: If you know a quieter team member did heavy lifting on an effort, call it out directly: "Hey Sarah, I saw the data model you built for this project. It looks incredibly clean. Can you walk us through how you approached that?"
• Mind the Guardrails: Keep status updates functional. If someone starts giving a performance-art update, gently steer them back: "That sounds like a great win, let's take the deep dive offline so we can focus on blockers today."

Audit Your Praise and Promotion Criteria

People behave based on how they see others getting rewarded.

• Create Objective Promotion Rubrics: Ensure your promotion and bonus criteria are tied to clear, measurable competencies and impact, rather than "presence" or "influence." Share these rubrics openly, not only with the team but also with the team's partners and stakeholders.
• Reinforce Team Work - Not Just Individuals: If you only praise the person who delivered the final presentation, you ignore the engine room. Make it a rule to praise the system or the collaboration that got it done: "Thanks to Jacques for presenting, and a huge shoutout to Tommy and Maya for pulling the data together overnight."

Adjust Your 1-on-1s

Use your private time with employees to reassure them that their work is being seen.

• Adopt an "I Noticed" Technique: Start a 1-on-1 by saying, "I noticed how you handled that
  
  difficult client email on Tuesday. You did a great job keeping things calm." This sends a powerful message: I am watching, I see your value, you don't need to market yourself to me.
• Be The Behavior You Want To See: Team members take their lead, not just from what you say, but how you show up. Be sure to model the behaviors you want to see from your team. Celebrate the people who celebrate the team. Champion the people who champion others. They will get the hint faster than you might think.

The good news is, we get to decide the culture we want to work in. It lives in how we show up, how we treat each other, and what we reward each other for.

Managers and leaders, take some time this week and reflect...

• Are you creating an environment where your team members feel like they have to self-promote in order to be appreciated and rewarded?
• Are you incentivizing the right behaviors?
• What can you do differently to promote the team before they feel like they have to self-promote?

If you're stuck, or want to bounce ideas off of someone—reach out to your Coach or your HRBP. We're here to help you help your team. What's stopping you?

We all win together!

Coach Dan